Wile E. Coyote's Identity Crisis

Poor Wile. He had an identity crisis the other day. It is shown at this video

Eventually, he resolved it by becoming an evangelical Christian.

A few days later we had a visit from some of the J- Witnesses.

Today, I got some Old Spice Cologne for all the stuffed animals (including Wile E. and the Road Runner who are gifts from Beth).

Gate Liked Scenes in This Movie

Tonight was the Syfy movie Dinocroc vs Supergator.

This was the PREMIERE of this made of TV movie.

Dinocroc was a 2004 movie.

In Dinocroc vs Supergator, one of the actors is David Carradine (of Kung Fu TV and other fame). In the movie Dinocroc frequently walks on two legs, supergator on 4 but both run about as fast as a speeding car. At the end, the two fight and it seems as if Dinocroc wins (Gate didn't like this).

Supergator was a 2007 movie.

Graduation Bear, Commencement Speaker

Graduation Bear put on some extra clothes and went to Brandeis to give a special Commencement Address to the graduates getting their degree in Communications.

He mentioned that they should enjoy the post graduation parties and mentioned that he has his own consulting practice now. However, he was a bit sketchy on how this came about.

It was something like, "... and then after graduation, I got a job with a prestigious financial firm and, yadda, yadda, I now get fees for consulting."

Gator Used to Sell Skin Cream

Yes, Alligators are photogenic.

So much so that one company uses gator images to sell a skin cream. Apparently, it keeps the skin moist and keeps out UV rays.

But it doesn't give you alligator powers or they would have said that too.

The youtube version of the advertisement is here.

Mixed News for the Coke Bear Family

The Image is from the February 2010 storm.

The Coke Bear family got ambiguous news today. The Coke Corporation announced a 19% increase in profit (09 1st quarter to 10 1st quarter). However, this was less than analysts expected.

Sales by volume of carbonated beverages were down, sales by volume of uncarbonated beverages were up because of sales overseas.

The article from Yahoo financial is here. Below is an excerpt:

Worldwide case volume rose 3 percent, with international case volume growing faster at 5 percent. The company has been courting international drinkers as their economies improve by pitching its drinks as an affordable luxury. In North America, shoppers cut back on such purchases in the recession.

Eurasia and Africa led international growth, with volume up 11 percent. India's volume grew 29 percent and Turkey's 18 percent.

Elsewhere, Brazil's volume gained 12 percent. The flagship Coca-Cola brand posted double-digit growth in Russia, Egypt, Brazil, India, Vietnam and the Philippines.

About three-fourths of Coca-Cola's revenue came from outside North America in the quarter. North America is the world's biggest soft drink market, but it has been weak as people shift to juices and teas.

Total case volume -- including soft drinks and juices -- fell 2 percent in the quarter. But soft drink volume declined 1 percent, less steep than previous quarters. The company credited its marketing campaigns for the Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics.

Sales of uncarbonated drinks such as water, juices and teas fell 2 percent in North America. People have been switching to those drinks because of health concerns, but the company noted people are cutting back on these purchases because of the recession.

Uncarbonated drinks grew 8 percent worldwide, driven by a 12 percent increase outside North America.

Gate Savors the Weather Outside

Alligator doesn't like cold and snow and in the image he is pondering the deep snow of February 2010 (from the relative warmth of our Florida room- which is typically 10 to 20 Degrees warmer than the outside in the winter).

Of course not all creatures can be inside. Specifically in Florida there was apparently a big decrease in the python population. As much as 50% of the pythons died because of cold weather in Florida.

He is the word from the AP, through the WTOP.com site,

No pythons caught during Fla. hunting season

April 16, 2010 - 1:35pm

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) - An unseasonably cold winter in Florida may have taken care of what python hunters could not.

Not a single python has been caught since the state started allowing hunters with special permits to track them on state-managed lands around the Everglades. The season started March 8 and ends Saturday.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says cold weather is believed to have killed up to 50 percent of the pythons....

(Copyright 2010 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.).

Another Heroic Dog

Although it is a Labrador, UGA should be happy that one of his species is getting the animal version of Victoria Cross (its called the Dickin Award) for valor (in this case bomb sniffing). The dog's name is Treo and he is now retired from the job of bomb sniffing. Apparently this has gone on for some time. However, this dog was especially photogenic.

UGA might be unhappy however that no dog has gotten an award for interrogation.


Information from this article

According to this other article, recipients of the award in the past include 32 pigeons, three horses and a cat.

Dog Brings Home A Snake

From Australia comes news of a dog who brought home a snake.

Here is a quote from the news article,

"The champion obedience dog stunned his Victorian owners when he recently returned to them to proudly show off his latest find.

Locked firmly in his jaws and coiled around his snout was a long, live snake, believed to be a deadly copperhead.

"He's normally an excellent duck dog but he'll pick up absolutely anything and return it to us, hanging on to it until we say 'give'," Deborah Allen said."

The article is here.

Another Win for UGA

Another News Headline for UGA to Like

In Florida there was another pro dog story.

A fire that the owners think may have started when a cat knocked over a candle led to a dog barking that alerted the owners to the fire.

Dog saves family from fire that cat started

The article is from a TV station (an NBC affiliate) which took the image of the dog that appears at the top.
alerted the owners to a fire.

Gate Uses His Influence

Gate Uses His Influence at the US Dept of Interior

Gate once worked at the Fish and Wildlife Service. Lately he has been using his contacts there and his influence at the Office of Legal Counsel to get the Dept of Interior's policy changed.

"... Interior Secretary Ken Salazar recently announced plans to ban the import or interstate transport of nine snakes that are not native to the United States: Burmese and three other types of pythons, boa constrictors and four different kinds of anaconda...."

This quote is from an editorial in the NYTimes endorsing the new policy (which Gate had something to do with also).

A Snack for an Alligator

The recent cold weather in Florida has had a number of effects on exotic fauna. Pythons and iguanas (such as the one on the left) have been dropping from trees paralyzed by the cold and numerous tropical fish have died. As stated by a spokewoman for Everglades National Park,

“A lot of these invasive exotics come from southern climates, and they won’t be able to withstand a cold spell for this long,” said Linda Friar, a spokeswoman for Everglades National Park. “And as they die off, the native species, the alligators and birds, are happily consuming them.”

I'm presuming the alligators first warmed up before the consumption.

The invasive exotics are discussed in the NYTimes article before the quote,

"....Then there are the cold-blooded invasive visitors from warmer climes — iguanas and pythons. Both started out as pets before reproducing into the thousands once set free by reckless owners and hurricanes. Now, scientists hope, many will have been killed off by the cold...."

The quote from the spokeswoman is from here.

"How do you not fall into the 'all God's Creatures' category?"

The other day we were doing the grace after meals and came to the part in the first benediction about how God provides food for all his creatures.

When Alligator or UGA is doing grace after meal with us they get very excited at this point and jump up and down. But that day we had the stuffed pumpkin farmer. It seemed to me that he didn't fit into this category because he is a composite of two things that do exist, pumpkins and farmers but the composite doesn't actually exist (except for the stuffed animal).

Mr. Pump is Getting Excited

Only two weeks until Halloween now. I have purchased enough candy for the visiting children (I did this in September during an OCD episode).

Our biggest change from last year is putting the electric light inside the pumpkin on a timer. I use the timer that was in the sukkah, having just taken down the sukkah.

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Gators Gets Some Press in Mark Trail

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Well, as it happens, I Usually Detest Mark Trail's comic. The artwork is primitive and the 'plots' are sophomoric.

It also is so pro-environmental as to make me vomit sometimes.

But, of course, if the comic is about alligators, well that's another story.

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Gate Reads About His 'Client'

Apparently Alligator's work preparing briefings for Judge Sotomayor was done well because on Aug 6, the full Senate confirmed her nomination to the Supreme Court.

Alligator gets most of his information from the on-line world but decided it was important to see how the Washington Post would cover this event.

He may have been secretly hoping they would mention his name in the story.

Coke Pauses for A Family Event

Although Coke Bear actually prefers his job with the Coca Cola Company to spending time with his family, he nevertheless likes to occasionally appear with them. It's good for his image.

Here he is with Ms. Coke Bear and their two babies.

What Coke Bear may not realize is that there is no genetically plausible way his son (the one between the two adults) is actually his.

So apparently Ms. Coke Bear has perhaps been enjoying some 'me' time also.

Hissy Looks For a Case

After the discussion between Alligator and Hissy and Alligator's decision to continue, for the time being, working in the Office of Legal Council, Hissy was a little unhappy.

So he decided to do some research.

Here his is looking for assssbesssstosss in the cat's water dish.

Gate Confers With Hissy

Alligator was so bummed out by the experience with Joe Biden's office that he is exploring other career options.

Here he is with Hissy, who is a lawyer representing people suing asbestos companies (or as Hissy says it, assssbessssstosssss).

However, Gate ultimately decided to stick it out a bit longer at the Office of Legal Counsel.

Gate Needs Some Wine

Alligator was assigned to give a briefing to the VPOTUS. He prepared his .ppt and made sure to get in all the talking points his boss had said to use.

The briefing would cover all the work the OLC had done to prepare for the congressional hearings Judge Sotomayer was going to have.

The VP, Joe Biden was to come to the OLC at 100pm. However, he didn't show up. Alligator waited and waited and waited.

It was 400 pm and Biden hadn't come. Then Gate got a call from his office.

"Did you use the talking points?", Gate's boss asked.

"Well no..." Gate started, intending to say why.

"Then you are in big trouble." said Gate's boss who hung up.

Gate called the office of the VPOTUS and they said that Biden should be there soon.

Gate stayed at the office until 900pm. Then he called the office of the VPOTUS again and this time they told him that Mr. Biden was out of town all day and couldn't make the briefing. They were 'sorry' for the inconvenience.

Gate Does Research

Gate's first big job in the Office of Legal Counsel was making sure they thoroughly researched all the speeches of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

This was necessary because subsequent to her nomination in May, people were a bit upset at some of the things she said.

So his job was to:

1. Come up with excuses or plausible misunderstandings for every possibly offensive thing she had ever said, and

2. Make sure there weren't more speeches out there needed similar servicing.

It was a messy job.

UGA thinks about it

Grad asked UGA if he (UGA) would provide some security while he (Grad) begins to work out a 'deal' with the hedge fund.

UGA said that he was quite capable for providing security for this.

Grad was still a bit hesitant but the hedge fund offer was pretty good.

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Grad Confers with Coke

Graduation Bear decided another conference with Coke Bear was needed. The earlier conference resulted in Grad getting a job with a Hedge Fund but the work was difficult and degrading.

Coke discussed the work he does consulting for a big corporation. The nice thing about this is that once you know dirt about the corporation, they will pay you to consult with them as long as you don't dish the dirt out to the world.

Grad was very interested.

Gate Camouflage Leads to a Change

Alligator sometimes likes to camouflage himself on the dining room table. This works best when we have a green table cloth (although the picture makes Gate's hide grey).

Anyway, Gate was being inconspicuous and decided to make a change and move to the Office of Legal Counsel, a unit within the Department of Justice that, among other things, acts as a legal service for the President.

Another Headline that UGA Likes

Today there was an article in Israeli National News, the following headline and story was made.

Terrorist Captured by Dog

In another headline:

Dog alerts HV couple to pre-dawn blaze when flue fire combusts outer wall wood

Diane Knapik, Guest Writer news@andersonvalleypost.com
Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire." align="center" border="0">

DOGGONE HERO:
Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire.

Battle of the News Stories

For some time, UGA (also known as George-dog) has been reminding us of the event in Maine that produced this headline,

"Dog Saves Owner After Cat Starts Fire"

(I can't get the Bangor News article so I used the UPI version which has a different headline).

In that event, the owner was using a kerosene lantern and the cat knocked it over.

Recently there was a recent story from a Seattle newspaper with a different twist,

"

Bremerton cat saves elderly owner from smoky fire"

In this story a woman slept through her smoke/fire alarm but was awakened by the cat pawing at her face.

UGA says this story is not believable because it is impossible to sleep through a smoke alarm.

and then today, according to KansasCity.com, a dog chewed through a computer wire and almost started a fire, the headline was,

Just ask the cat: Don't let dogs out with computers

the rest of the article read,

A dog chewing a laptop computer cord started a $105,000 Olathe fire Wednesday that almost killed the family cat.

Firefighters rescued the soot-covered cat, Tater, from the burned duplex and got him back to his family.

A woman and her young son were home when the dog chewed through the cord and caused an electrical short that ignited the couch, firefighters said, and then they and the dog left the home.

Tater stayed inside until firefighters saved him. They said he seemed well-tempered for a cat covered with soot. No word on whether the dog showed any remorse.

Gate Joins the Govt.

Gate Nominated for Post in US Fish and Wildlife Admin.

After his help to the transition team, Gate had been working the net when he got the call. His country needs him. You might think a ferocious predator would serve in Homeland Security (Everglades Division) but you'd be wrong. The new Administration wanted him in the Department of Interior's Fish and Wildlife Administration. Perhaps they expect some tough interdepartmental fights and it's good to have an alligator on the team.

Gate Goes Political

Gate Advises Obama Team

Gate has been giving advice to the Obama transition team for a week now.

Gate is mostly concerned that 1. the future Obama administration understand the importance of habitat expansion for Alligators and 2. the Obama administration not be unduly influenced by turtles, pythons, crocodiles and other creature who share that habitat.

Uga Gets A Clue

UGA Taking An On Line Course in Security

Uga (or George Dog) was thinking about going to get a 4- year degree but changed his mind when he spoke with Graduation Bear.

Uga is now learning Security Management. Its a two year on-line course.

The biggest drawback is the lack of dialogue with other students. Of course since Uga only wants to know "What's Up?", this isn't entirely bad.

Lobby Ponders

Lobby Ponders His Options

Our stuffed lobster, Lobby, was once considering going to medical school. He was going to follow in the clawpath of Dr. Zoidberg, of Futurama Fame (the doctor is the first image).




Coke Bear, who seems to be doing more and more consulting for our family stuffed animals, and I pointed out to Lobby that, notwithstanding his degree, Dr. Zoidberg has the job of staff physician to a small, capital starved and poorly managed delivery company. In the animated show, Dr. Zoidberg is always hungry.



After some internet work, which was difficult given his claws don't hold a mouse very well, Lobby decided to seek work advising the various Seafood Associations.

Tough Day for Graduation Bear

Graduation Bear at Work

The Hedge Fund makes Graduation Bear go though dusty old folders that were placed in laundry baskets and look for receipts that they can use to pretend they were doing business when they were actually being entertained.

This is pretty bad for Graduation Bear especially because, as a salaried employee, he doesn't get paid for overtime. The Hedge Fund bosses have demanded he work both Saturday and Sunday almost every week since he started with them.