Mr. Pump is Getting Excited

Only two weeks until Halloween now. I have purchased enough candy for the visiting children (I did this in September during an OCD episode).

Our biggest change from last year is putting the electric light inside the pumpkin on a timer. I use the timer that was in the sukkah, having just taken down the sukkah.

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Gators Gets Some Press in Mark Trail

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Well, as it happens, I Usually Detest Mark Trail's comic. The artwork is primitive and the 'plots' are sophomoric.

It also is so pro-environmental as to make me vomit sometimes.

But, of course, if the comic is about alligators, well that's another story.

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Gate Reads About His 'Client'

Apparently Alligator's work preparing briefings for Judge Sotomayor was done well because on Aug 6, the full Senate confirmed her nomination to the Supreme Court.

Alligator gets most of his information from the on-line world but decided it was important to see how the Washington Post would cover this event.

He may have been secretly hoping they would mention his name in the story.

Coke Pauses for A Family Event

Although Coke Bear actually prefers his job with the Coca Cola Company to spending time with his family, he nevertheless likes to occasionally appear with them. It's good for his image.

Here he is with Ms. Coke Bear and their two babies.

What Coke Bear may not realize is that there is no genetically plausible way his son (the one between the two adults) is actually his.

So apparently Ms. Coke Bear has perhaps been enjoying some 'me' time also.

Hissy Looks For a Case

After the discussion between Alligator and Hissy and Alligator's decision to continue, for the time being, working in the Office of Legal Council, Hissy was a little unhappy.

So he decided to do some research.

Here his is looking for assssbesssstosss in the cat's water dish.

Gate Confers With Hissy

Alligator was so bummed out by the experience with Joe Biden's office that he is exploring other career options.

Here he is with Hissy, who is a lawyer representing people suing asbestos companies (or as Hissy says it, assssbessssstosssss).

However, Gate ultimately decided to stick it out a bit longer at the Office of Legal Counsel.

Gate Needs Some Wine

Alligator was assigned to give a briefing to the VPOTUS. He prepared his .ppt and made sure to get in all the talking points his boss had said to use.

The briefing would cover all the work the OLC had done to prepare for the congressional hearings Judge Sotomayer was going to have.

The VP, Joe Biden was to come to the OLC at 100pm. However, he didn't show up. Alligator waited and waited and waited.

It was 400 pm and Biden hadn't come. Then Gate got a call from his office.

"Did you use the talking points?", Gate's boss asked.

"Well no..." Gate started, intending to say why.

"Then you are in big trouble." said Gate's boss who hung up.

Gate called the office of the VPOTUS and they said that Biden should be there soon.

Gate stayed at the office until 900pm. Then he called the office of the VPOTUS again and this time they told him that Mr. Biden was out of town all day and couldn't make the briefing. They were 'sorry' for the inconvenience.

Gate Does Research

Gate's first big job in the Office of Legal Counsel was making sure they thoroughly researched all the speeches of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

This was necessary because subsequent to her nomination in May, people were a bit upset at some of the things she said.

So his job was to:

1. Come up with excuses or plausible misunderstandings for every possibly offensive thing she had ever said, and

2. Make sure there weren't more speeches out there needed similar servicing.

It was a messy job.

UGA thinks about it

Grad asked UGA if he (UGA) would provide some security while he (Grad) begins to work out a 'deal' with the hedge fund.

UGA said that he was quite capable for providing security for this.

Grad was still a bit hesitant but the hedge fund offer was pretty good.

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Grad Confers with Coke

Graduation Bear decided another conference with Coke Bear was needed. The earlier conference resulted in Grad getting a job with a Hedge Fund but the work was difficult and degrading.

Coke discussed the work he does consulting for a big corporation. The nice thing about this is that once you know dirt about the corporation, they will pay you to consult with them as long as you don't dish the dirt out to the world.

Grad was very interested.

Gate Camouflage Leads to a Change

Alligator sometimes likes to camouflage himself on the dining room table. This works best when we have a green table cloth (although the picture makes Gate's hide grey).

Anyway, Gate was being inconspicuous and decided to make a change and move to the Office of Legal Counsel, a unit within the Department of Justice that, among other things, acts as a legal service for the President.

Another Headline that UGA Likes

Today there was an article in Israeli National News, the following headline and story was made.

Terrorist Captured by Dog

In another headline:

Dog alerts HV couple to pre-dawn blaze when flue fire combusts outer wall wood

Diane Knapik, Guest Writer news@andersonvalleypost.com
Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire." align="center" border="0">

DOGGONE HERO:
Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire.

Battle of the News Stories

For some time, UGA (also known as George-dog) has been reminding us of the event in Maine that produced this headline,

"Dog Saves Owner After Cat Starts Fire"

(I can't get the Bangor News article so I used the UPI version which has a different headline).

In that event, the owner was using a kerosene lantern and the cat knocked it over.

Recently there was a recent story from a Seattle newspaper with a different twist,

"

Bremerton cat saves elderly owner from smoky fire"

In this story a woman slept through her smoke/fire alarm but was awakened by the cat pawing at her face.

UGA says this story is not believable because it is impossible to sleep through a smoke alarm.

and then today, according to KansasCity.com, a dog chewed through a computer wire and almost started a fire, the headline was,

Just ask the cat: Don't let dogs out with computers

the rest of the article read,

A dog chewing a laptop computer cord started a $105,000 Olathe fire Wednesday that almost killed the family cat.

Firefighters rescued the soot-covered cat, Tater, from the burned duplex and got him back to his family.

A woman and her young son were home when the dog chewed through the cord and caused an electrical short that ignited the couch, firefighters said, and then they and the dog left the home.

Tater stayed inside until firefighters saved him. They said he seemed well-tempered for a cat covered with soot. No word on whether the dog showed any remorse.

Gate Joins the Govt.

Gate Nominated for Post in US Fish and Wildlife Admin.

After his help to the transition team, Gate had been working the net when he got the call. His country needs him. You might think a ferocious predator would serve in Homeland Security (Everglades Division) but you'd be wrong. The new Administration wanted him in the Department of Interior's Fish and Wildlife Administration. Perhaps they expect some tough interdepartmental fights and it's good to have an alligator on the team.

Gate Goes Political

Gate Advises Obama Team

Gate has been giving advice to the Obama transition team for a week now.

Gate is mostly concerned that 1. the future Obama administration understand the importance of habitat expansion for Alligators and 2. the Obama administration not be unduly influenced by turtles, pythons, crocodiles and other creature who share that habitat.

Uga Gets A Clue

UGA Taking An On Line Course in Security

Uga (or George Dog) was thinking about going to get a 4- year degree but changed his mind when he spoke with Graduation Bear.

Uga is now learning Security Management. Its a two year on-line course.

The biggest drawback is the lack of dialogue with other students. Of course since Uga only wants to know "What's Up?", this isn't entirely bad.

Lobby Ponders

Lobby Ponders His Options

Our stuffed lobster, Lobby, was once considering going to medical school. He was going to follow in the clawpath of Dr. Zoidberg, of Futurama Fame (the doctor is the first image).




Coke Bear, who seems to be doing more and more consulting for our family stuffed animals, and I pointed out to Lobby that, notwithstanding his degree, Dr. Zoidberg has the job of staff physician to a small, capital starved and poorly managed delivery company. In the animated show, Dr. Zoidberg is always hungry.



After some internet work, which was difficult given his claws don't hold a mouse very well, Lobby decided to seek work advising the various Seafood Associations.

Tough Day for Graduation Bear

Graduation Bear at Work

The Hedge Fund makes Graduation Bear go though dusty old folders that were placed in laundry baskets and look for receipts that they can use to pretend they were doing business when they were actually being entertained.

This is pretty bad for Graduation Bear especially because, as a salaried employee, he doesn't get paid for overtime. The Hedge Fund bosses have demanded he work both Saturday and Sunday almost every week since he started with them.

UGA Arrives

Uga (which stands for University of Georgia) was Surprised By the Letter

When Uga (a.k.a., George Dog) came to stay with us he had his mail forwarded to us also. The USPS apprised the Georgia Department of Family Services (GDFS) of the new address when the sent a communication to UGA's old address.

The Georgia Department of Family Services wrote to the Maryland Attorney General asking if the home UGA had chosen was a good home for a stuffed animal. The Maryland Attorney General then wrote to the GDFS that there was a sexual offender in the house, namely the cat, Soda. The GDFS then wrote to UGA. When UGA received the letter, his first reaction was total disbelief. Then he confronted Soda and asked him, "What's Up?"

My People will Meet with Your People

Coke Bear Consults for Graduation Bear

Coke bear was just coming back from advising at a construction site when Graduation Bear asked for some consultation work.

Graduation Bear's problem is, of course, the monumental debt he piled up with the college loans and the interest and penalties.

A secondary problem was that a stuffed animal with a communication degree isn't very employable.

However, Coke Bear had contacts in the Hedge Fund industry and within a few weeks, Graduation Bear was offered a job as a "Personal Service Assistant" to the Executive Office of the Hedge Fund. The work would be tiring and somewhat unpleasant (let's just say it involved some work that could be considered illegal if it wasn't voluntary).

Coke Bear didn't have a lot of options at the time so he signed up to work for the Hedge Fund.

After Supper Entertainment for Alligator

Frequently after supper or lunch on the Sabbath, George and his father play Cribbage or Klabberjast. This latter game is also called Clabber or Klabberjass. The hot links go to articles on these games.

These are card games.

Alligator likes to watch and give advice. During the cribbage game he always advises the player with the crib regarding what to contribute to the crib, "Don't throw away what you don't want; throw away what you don't need."

Alligator is also reminding people to count knobs even though it is only one point. In klabberjast, Alligator constantly advises people to get a lot of meld and also to take the last trick (a.k.a. stuch).

The picture of Alligator was not taken on the Sabbath.

Coke Bear Agrees to Help

Coke Bear was at his computer terminal one day and received a variety of messages from other stuffed animals.

It seemed a lot of these animals were facing difficult situations (for example Graduation Bear's problem with college debt as noted in the post below). So he decided to become a consultant to the stuffed animal world in addition to his work for the Coca Cola Corporation.

The Problem with Graduation Bear

Graduation Bear Created a Problem for Himself

Graduation Bear got his degree in Communications back in 2002. He got the degree from an exclusive northeastern private University. Because tuition was high, he borrowed the money for tuition and living expenses.

He spent the next six years going to parties and interest on the borrowed money piled up. He also got fined for delinquency because, the debt-holder said, he did not make a reasonable attempt to pay the loan back. Graduation Bear thought he would get out of this by simply declaring bankruptcy. Graduation Bear went to Alligator to discuss it. Unfortunately for Graduation Bear, according to Alligator, tuition debt is in a similar class with debt owed for child support or criminal restitution and is not terminated by bankruptcy.

Bummer!

Eventually he had to take a job that he didn't like.

Gate Joins Us After Dinner

Gate Loves Doing Grace After Meals with us.

One of the things Gate likes to do is to join us for Grace After Meals. We typically do this as a family on Sabbath.

There are several things Gate likes about this.

1. There is the psalm we do at the beginning which Gate thinks is a "Song of Allegation". Most people translate the phrase "Shieir Hamalos" as Song of Elevation but Alligator is sure they are wrong.

2. He also likes the first benediction because it has a sentence which praises God for giving sustenance to all his creatures (Gate believes the words, "especially Alligators" have been incorrectly edited out.

3. He like the invocation of God's mercy because it mentions the fact that we await "Elijah the Prophet" which Gate says is a misprint since it should say "Alligator the Prophet". The word "Eliahu HaNovi" should thus be "Alligator HaNovi" according to Alligator.

4. He likes the last benediction which includes the line from a psalm saying that God gives every creature what they need.

This isn't the only thing in Judaism that Gate likes. He also like the Scroll of Ester which Gate has amended to read,

"In the days of Alligator,
The Alligator.
He ruled from Florida to Louisiana
Over 127 counties and parishes"

The picture of alligator with the prayer book was not taken on the Sabbath

Alligator Arrives

Gate Arrives

Our Alligator (aka Gate) arrived from Mississippi. He began looking over George's law school related material.

He loves wild allegations (he would spell it 'alligation' and thus his favorite TV show is Nancy Grace.

Of course he also likes nature shows about alligators and also the SciFi channel's movie "SuperGator". The poster for the movie is the first image.