Stuffed Animal Soap Opera

Is UGA too Vigilant

2012-01-11T09:18:00.000-08:00

UGA sometimes refers to his 'mission statement' as 'constant vigilance'.

This expression is also a favorite of Mad Eye Moody, a character from the Harry Potter series.

Anyway, one of UGA's trainees identified the contents of Entertainer Snoop Dogg's possessions as containing drugs. This was in South Texas (Sierra Blanco).

Snoop's total stash consisted of enough marijuana cigarettes to fill a prescription bottle (probably no more than 2 ounces). Seems to be a bit petty considering that the entertainer calls himself 'Dogg'.

Lucy the G. P.

2011-12-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Lucy the G. P. is a new member of the Weiss household.

We've needed a medical professional for some time because of various things that have come up.

Lucy, however, is a somewhat relaxed member of the medical community.

She comes to work late and takes only a few clients, refers them all to specialists and collects $100 a pop for the referrals.

Sweet deal if you can get it.

Dr. Lucy does Yoga Too

2011-12-05T08:55:00.000-08:00

Dr. Lucy's schedule permits plenty of time for yoga.

This is where she gets some extra relaxation.

Her body allows more bending than many of the other stuffed animals.

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The Road Runner and Sonic Booms

2011-11-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

We've received some complaints about road runner. This is because he has been accelerating his delivery business by traveling long distances at high speeds - actually faster than sound. For example, by traveling at about 1300 feet per second (a bit more than the speed of sound at 20C), he can make a delivery from Washington DC to Chicago in a bit less than 90 minutes. However, this causes a sonic boom along the way. Road Runner has agreed to limit his speed to just less than the speed of sound except in rural areas in the summer daytime (when sound waves are more strongly refracted up). The graph is from the wikipedia article on the speed of sound.

UGA gets Negative News

2011-11-17T11:01:00.001-08:00

The GAO is highly critical of the Dept of Homeland Security's border program.

They (GAO) released a report that said that the old "virtual" fence wasn't performing at expected levels and there was no reason to think the nenw 'multi-function' plan would work either.

Of course, DHS has two things they could do better. One is to rename it the Dept of Domestic Security (because the acronym, DDS, inspires fear) and secondly to have more detainees interrogated by UGA (which will also inspire fear).

A report on the GAO findings is here.

Croc Insurance for President Obama

2011-11-15T16:43:00.000-08:00

President Obama has been given a $50k policy that covers crocodile attacks. This was for his visit to the north part of Australia.There is no apparent cost to the taxpayers of the US and unless the President is attacked by a crocodile, no cost to the tax payers in Australia.

The insurance policy is to be framed with the image to the left.

This comes from a Financial Times article here.

Weaponized Pumpkin

2011-11-13T14:14:00.000-08:00

Now pumpkins may get more respect (see post below for 'low respect for pumpkins).

Near Pittsburgh, PA, a man was walking with his wife on a public side walk when he was struck by a pumpkin. The pumpkin was thrown from a passing automobile.

Shortly before the attack a neighbor noticed a pumpkin was stolen from her property.

As of a day after the attack, the assailant (or assailants) had not been apprehended but then on Nov 17, four teens came forward and admitted they had stolen pumpkins and weaponized them.

The initial story is available here.
The follow up story is available here.

Mr. Pumpkin Doesn't Get Respect from Starbucks

2011-11-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Starbucks Corporation announced a big quarter. Revenues were up about 7% and earnings were up about 30% (compared with the same quarter last year). Same store sales in the US up by about 6%.

Several spokespersons for the company were on the various financial channels but not a single one (that I saw) credited the pumpkin spice latte (a seasonal addition to the menu) for this great result.

WashingtonPost story on the quarter's financial performance of Starbucks here.

NYTimes Pumps Out News on Pumpkins

2011-10-06T07:40:00.000-07:00

The race to grow a 2000 pound pumpkin is discussed in the NYTimes today.

..... ...

In 2010, the 1800 pound barrier was broken and this has energized the many competitive pumpkin growers to try to pass the one ton mark.

Mrs Coke is ready to 'shop'

2011-10-05T12:12:00.000-07:00

With Mr. Coke at the office and panda coke in boarding school in China and junior Miss Coke at prep school, Mrs Coke has some time to herself.

In this image she has a little beverage and has her earrings on.

She says she is going shopping but she doesn't seem to buy much. She is, however, in a good mood and sort of glowing when she comes home though so Mr. Coke doesn't seem to mind.

Panda At Boarding School

2011-10-03T09:08:00.000-07:00

At his boarding school in China, Panda has been studying the different types of bamboo.

Some get tall quick and you have to chew the tops while they are still green, others stay close to the ground.

Yum. Bamboo.

Can Mr. Pumpkin Farmer make a latte

2011-09-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

A culture blogger posted an opinion whether drinking a pumpkin spice latte could be 'manly'. This was in response to Starbucks which, during the fall, sells a latte which pumpkin spice flavoring.

The post attracted many comments. Most of the commenters were pro-pumpkin or at least pro choice regarding pumpkin spike.

Some opined that drinking any latte was unmanly or that any drinking at Starbucks was unmanly or that any drinking at Starbucks was stupid (because of the prices).
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Mr. Pumpkin farmer was thinking how he could produce his own pumpkin drink

Mrs Coke and Jr Relax

2011-09-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

After Panda left for boarding school, Mrs Coke and junior bear had some together time.

It went quite well until junior started asking questions like,

"how come Panda doesn't look like my father?"

Mrs. Coke told junior about recessive genes and made it too complicated to understand.

That should do for now.

Outgate enjoys the weather

2011-09-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

We had a wet August and then the beginning of September had even more rain (from tropical storm Lee).

Outside Gator (or outgate, as we sometimes call him) was very happy about the weather but he would have liked it better if the earlier summer had been wetter.

This is because the habitat created in September can't really be used too long as the cold comes in October.

Hardrock bear has a job

2011-08-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

When Ann was in the hospital for the mitral valve repair, she got a balloon from her office.

Hardrock bear got the job of holding the balloon and then also the job of guarding some of the drinks.

Hardrock cafe probably doesn't sell cranberry juice or grape juice so it is a new experience for Hardrock bear.

Impress Girls w Alligator

2011-08-03T08:23:00.000-07:00

Lots of things happen in Cook County, Illinois. Here is one that, I think, was from a police file:

A charge of possession of a dangerous animal has been filed against 43-year-old Dewayne Yarbrough of Ford Heights, who claims he kept the four-foot alligator to impress women.

Yarbrough told Cook County sheriff’s investigators he kept the alligator in a small tank and fed it only 10 live mice a month to keep it from growing too large. He said he bought the gator five years ago in Indiana for $200.

Animal control investigators did not say how they learned of the alligator, which they found in Yarbrough’s kitchen.

New story is here.That story has the gator on the right (which is not the gator in the story I think).

A similar story is here. That story has the other gator (which is not identified as being the one in Cook County).

UGA Overseas

2011-06-15T19:42:00.000-07:00

Russian Bulldogs Are Also Constantly Vigilant

or at least sufficiently vigilant

Apparently there is a smuggling operation which brings illegal products to Russia via nearly empty trucks. The products, which are hidden in secret compartments (I suppose in the driver's cab part of the truck) include items such as bear claws, elk lips and mammoth tusks which evidently have a very high value.

Russia has successfully used dogs at border stations to locate these items in the trucks.

Article on this in the NYTimes is here.

Did UGA Eat the Grades

2011-06-15T19:14:00.000-07:00

UGA in the News

Unfortunately, not good news.

Apparently, the University of Georgia law school is slow sending out law school grades.

The post is here.

It was posted at the website "abovethelaw.com".

The post was entitled, "Did UGA Eat the Grades at UGA law school."

Coke Thinks About Panda

2011-06-10T08:51:00.000-07:00

Mr Coke decided that young Panda should go to boarding school in the fall.

At first he was thinking of sending Panda to a school for troubled youth that has a reputation for hard discipline.

But after finding out that school had been closed perhaps due to being sued, he looked for schools worldwide and eventually decided on a school in China.

It took a lot of Coke to think his way through this and it took a lot of time.

Soccer Bear Arrives

2011-05-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

Soccer Bear Arrived here on May 10. He had been living with Ann's mom.

He is from Dublin, Ireland - actually he is from just outside of Dublin but he gets tired of saying he is from just outside of Dublin so he says he is from Dublin.

He is very devoted to soccer. In the second picture, he was trying to find some soccer news on the front page of the sports section of the Washington Post.

He wasn't successful.

This kind of ticked him off and he started making comments about how American sports were inferior to soccer.

Soccer Bear Has Some Conversations

2011-05-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Soccer Bear's anti American comments got some attention from UGA (who works for the Homeland Security Administration). UGA advocates constantly vigilance and he himself is pretty aggressive in asking one overarching question.

After some of this, Soccer Bear changed his attitude. He now acknowledges that American sports have a lot of value.

However that whole episode Soccer Bear was feeling a bit threatened.

Pumpkin farmer decided to discuss green issues with Soccer Bear (Pumpkin is also greenish except where he is other colors).

After this Soccer Bear felt better and attended our sabbath meal but here he almost got into trouble asking why God didn't specifically give the Jewish people a soccer field.

Osama b Laden drank Coke

2011-05-06T14:13:00.000-07:00

According to a report today, two couriers who worked for OBL, purchased provisions on a regular basis.

Apparently, OBL liked name brands. One of these was Coke. Another was P...i.

Other brands that OBL liked include Nestle Milk.

source of this info is here.

UGA Has Another Newspaper Article to Like

2011-05-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

There have been several reports that the late April 2011 operation to kill Bin Laden included one dog.

As in the image, most people assume it was a German Shepard but, of course as the operation has many secret components, it could have been a bulldog with a bone its mouth saying "WASSSZ UP".

One news article here.

Another here.

Another here.

Per the articles, the DOD employs about 2700 dogs, up from about 1700 before 9-11.

In the operation, per the articles, a SEAL rappelled down from a helicopter with a dog strapped to his chest.

2011-03-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

Gator exploited for Nefarious Activity

A man in East Hemet California (about 90 miles east of downtown Los Angeles) was using a Florida alligator to guard his marijuana supply. The man was dispensing the marijuana in an unlicensed medical treatment.

The gator weighed only 55 pounds but, heh, he was a gator and who is going to risk that (image is from the news article).

After the arrest (of the man), the gator was relocated to an undisclosed location in San Bernadino County. Personal possession of alligators in California is illegal but authorities acknowledge that a number of homes have them because of, well, the panache.

G sent me this article.

2011-03-09T06:36:00.001-08:00

Are American Bears Different?

A blogger named Erica Grieder has done an analysis of English vs American 'literary' bears.

Her conclusion was,

" American bears are, for the most part, more assertive and autonomous than English bears."

Greider knows more about English bears than I do and she knows somethings about American bears (e.g., Yogi Bear).

However, she is apparently not familiar with several other bears, notably, our Graduation Bear, Coke Bear and Hard Rock Bear (in the image, Hard Rock Bear is showing off his certificate which identifies him as special Atlanta Hard Rock Bear number 910).

That's too bad because if she had, her "American Bears are more assertive" thesis would be stronger. As for the autonomous aspect, that wouldn't play out so well. Coke bear and Hard Rock bear depend on their corporation for identity.

As for Graduation Bear, well lets just say he has had some issues in the past.

Here is Erica Greider's analysis and also an image she used (his name is Corduroy Bear apparently).

Here is the Volokh Conspiracy post that discusses Erica's analysis and contains a number of unbearable puns.

2011-03-01T09:24:00.000-08:00

Coke Buys the Rest of Honest Tea

Today the Coca Cola corporation purchased those shares of Honest Tea that they didn't already own.

Before the purchase, Coke Bear consulted briefly with Graduation.

Grad liked the name Honest Tea since the product says they have twice the taste but half the calories of "... those super sweet drinks with fewer than 50 calories per serving."

but they don't say what "those" are and the 50 calories is only if you drink a bit less than half a 16 ounce bottle.

Article on Coke purchase here.
Honest tea Product info faqs here.

2011-03-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

Mr. Pumpkin goes to Atlanta

G took Mr. Pumpkin to Atlanta (Feb 28-Mar 2).

Mr. Pumpkin is a legacy of 396 Wimbledon. He came to our family sometime between 1998 and about 2008 during a 'cleaning' but had been in the Lindsey house for several decades before that.

KBL didn't recognize him when G showed her.

This annoyed Mr. Pumpkin, who complained to KBL's Reindeer about it and also the fact that he (Mr. Pumpkin) is the only stuffed animal who isn't referenced in the first blessing of the Grace after meals (this is because the blessing refers to 'all creatures that God created' and Mr. Pumpkin is something of a hybrid between a creature and a fantasy).

2011-02-27T05:39:00.000-08:00

UGA gets a trip to Baltimore

G was taking the bar exam in Baltimore on Feb 22-23.

He stayed at a motel near the Convention Center (where the exam was administered).

UGA went with him because UGA espouses constant vigilance (whether he practises that or not is another thing) and G needed some vigilance to make sure he was at the exam on time (G also had the motel give him a wake up call and took two alarm clocks - so not all the pressure was on UGA).
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2011-02-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

Coke raises dividend

Following a few days after their successful post merger quarter, Coca Cola announced they were raising the dividends.

It is a pretty high payout ratio with, by my analysis, about 60% of net incoming going into dividends. Of course that may be do to the fact that Warren Buffet, who holds 200,000,000 shares, is a big fan of dividends.

This article discusses the dividend.

2011-02-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

Merger Went Well

Last week, Coca Cola announced that the first quarter after full intergration after the Coke company bought the bottling company was a big success.

Net income was up about 65% (to about $5.7B), revenue was up about 40% (to about $10.5B). Product sales was up about 6% (only 5% if you don't count the Dr. Pepper that came with the bottling company).

Coke Bear is very, very pleased with himself.

NYTimes article on the successful quarter is here.

2011-02-11T12:34:00.000-08:00

A Wily Coyote Experience

We are doing a refinancing. A financial fact checker from Chase Mortgage called us. She needed some basic information from Wells Fargo. Wells Fargo wouldn't talk to her. Wells Fargo wouldn't even agree to a three way call with her, us and them. So we had Chase call Wells Fargo then mute themselves while we asked Wells Fargo the questions. One of the questions was "what is your name?" which was put to the Wells Fargo person answering the other questions.

She said, "Rebecca H." I asked if her last name was spelled 'Ache' but she said that it was the letter 'H'. I said that given that I've told her my name and my address and my social security number to get the basic financial information of 'account balance', that this seemed a little one sided. Rebecca H. responded that it was company policy. We hung up.

The Chase fact checker called and told me they had all the info and that she (the fact checker) had enjoyed the conversation. I told her that what we had done was similar to those contraptions that wily coyote built expect for the giant spring and the rocket and the fact checker said she loved the metaphor.

2011-01-29T19:11:00.001-08:00

Another Alligator Movie

I watched this movie with Gate.

There were many men and women eaten whole and 1980s entertainers/actresses Debbie Gibson (plays an animal rights activist who frees captive snakes) and Tiffany (who plays a park ranger).

Debbie calls Tiffany a 'gator feeding b..ch' which starts a fight between the two. The fight takes place at an outdoor buffet and lots of different food gets thrown around. Then they make up and help stop the animals.

At one point as the giant gators and pythons get to Miami, the women see a shopping area being destroyed by the giants. One says, "well, I've always hated that mall".

Tiffany is eaten by a gator in one bite. The giant gators and pythons are destroyed by explosives. Debbie falls out of a helicopter into a swamp and is eaten by a dying gator. A park is dedicated to their memory.

Another Intervention

2011-01-18T10:13:00.000-08:00

Only a few days after the alcohol abuse intervention, a drug intervention was held by Grad's friends.

They pretty much said the same thing as at the alcohol intervention.

However, they brought in a new friend, Hard Rock bear who commented that instead of hard drugs, you could enjoy Hard Rock and, then he started going on and on about how unique he was.

Anyway, Grad seems to have been laying off the prescription drugs but that might be because he used them all and the pharmacy won't send any more

Time for an Intervention

2011-01-16T10:10:00.000-08:00

Grad's friends wanted to help him so they had an intervention.

Gate said, "Your drinking alcohol really hurts me because its not near a swamp."

UGA said, "I'm sad because you aren't being vigilant when you are drunk."

Coke Bear said, "It hurts me that you use only alcohol and not my company's products."

New Year starts Early

2010-12-31T16:00:00.000-08:00

Grad, Gate, UGA and Coke got together for a new year's party.

It started early.

They partied long and hard (and didn't use many of Coke Bear's company products). Grad partied the longest and the hardest.

The next morning Grad was, well, let's just say in bad shape.

Grad Dealing with Guilt Again

2010-11-13T07:43:00.000-08:00

Graduation Bear is still dealing with some guilt from his 'consultancy' with the hedge fund or else he has a problem again.

The pills are pretty strong given his (Grad's) weight. Sometime he actually doesn't want to be recognized. This all probably comes from the letter he received from Brandeis. They had investigated him further after the June 3 commencement speech and said they wouldn't be inviting him back.

2010-08-01T12:52:00.000-07:00

Wile E. Coyote's Identity Crisis

Poor Wile. He had an identity crisis the other day. It is shown at this video

Eventually, he resolved it by becoming an evangelical Christian.

A few days later we had a visit from some of the J- Witnesses.

Today, I got some Old Spice Cologne for all the stuffed animals (including Wile E. and the Road Runner who are gifts from Beth).

2010-06-26T19:13:00.000-07:00

Gate Liked Scenes in This Movie

Tonight was the Syfy movie Dinocroc vs Supergator.

This was the PREMIERE of this made of TV movie.

Dinocroc was a 2004 movie.

In Dinocroc vs Supergator, one of the actors is David Carradine (of Kung Fu TV and other fame). In the movie Dinocroc frequently walks on two legs, supergator on 4 but both run about as fast as a speeding car. At the end, the two fight and it seems as if Dinocroc wins (Gate didn't like this).

Supergator was a 2007 movie.

2010-06-03T14:10:00.000-07:00

Graduation Bear, Commencement Speaker

Graduation Bear put on some extra clothes and went to Brandeis to give a special Commencement Address to the graduates getting their degree in Communications.

He mentioned that they should enjoy the post graduation parties and mentioned that he has his own consulting practice now. However, he was a bit sketchy on how this came about.

It was something like, "... and then after graduation, I got a job with a prestigious financial firm and, yadda, yadda, I now get fees for consulting."

Gator Used to Sell Skin Cream

2010-05-03T06:28:00.000-07:00

Yes, Alligators are photogenic.

So much so that one company uses gator images to sell a skin cream. Apparently, it keeps the skin moist and keeps out UV rays.

But it doesn't give you alligator powers or they would have said that too.

The youtube version of the advertisement is here.

Mixed News for the Coke Bear Family

2010-04-20T05:26:00.000-07:00

The Image is from the February 2010 storm.

The Coke Bear family got ambiguous news today. The Coke Corporation announced a 19% increase in profit (09 1st quarter to 10 1st quarter). However, this was less than analysts expected.

Sales by volume of carbonated beverages were down, sales by volume of uncarbonated beverages were up because of sales overseas.

The article from Yahoo financial is here. Below is an excerpt:

Worldwide case volume rose 3 percent, with international case volume growing faster at 5 percent. The company has been courting international drinkers as their economies improve by pitching its drinks as an affordable luxury. In North America, shoppers cut back on such purchases in the recession.

Eurasia and Africa led international growth, with volume up 11 percent. India's volume grew 29 percent and Turkey's 18 percent.

Elsewhere, Brazil's volume gained 12 percent. The flagship Coca-Cola brand posted double-digit growth in Russia, Egypt, Brazil, India, Vietnam and the Philippines.

About three-fourths of Coca-Cola's revenue came from outside North America in the quarter. North America is the world's biggest soft drink market, but it has been weak as people shift to juices and teas.

Total case volume -- including soft drinks and juices -- fell 2 percent in the quarter. But soft drink volume declined 1 percent, less steep than previous quarters. The company credited its marketing campaigns for the Super Bowl and the Winter Olympics.

Sales of uncarbonated drinks such as water, juices and teas fell 2 percent in North America. People have been switching to those drinks because of health concerns, but the company noted people are cutting back on these purchases because of the recession.

Uncarbonated drinks grew 8 percent worldwide, driven by a 12 percent increase outside North America.

Gate Savors the Weather Outside

2010-04-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

Alligator doesn't like cold and snow and in the image he is pondering the deep snow of February 2010 (from the relative warmth of our Florida room- which is typically 10 to 20 Degrees warmer than the outside in the winter).

Of course not all creatures can be inside. Specifically in Florida there was apparently a big decrease in the python population. As much as 50% of the pythons died because of cold weather in Florida.

He is the word from the AP, through the WTOP.com site,

No pythons caught during Fla. hunting season

April 16, 2010 - 1:35pm

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) - An unseasonably cold winter in Florida may have taken care of what python hunters could not.

Not a single python has been caught since the state started allowing hunters with special permits to track them on state-managed lands around the Everglades. The season started March 8 and ends Saturday.

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission says cold weather is believed to have killed up to 50 percent of the pythons....

Another Heroic Dog

2010-02-28T06:27:00.000-08:00

Although it is a Labrador, UGA should be happy that one of his species is getting the animal version of Victoria Cross (its called the Dickin Award) for valor (in this case bomb sniffing). The dog's name is Treo and he is now retired from the job of bomb sniffing. Apparently this has gone on for some time. However, this dog was especially photogenic.

UGA might be unhappy however that no dog has gotten an award for interrogation.

Information from this article

According to this other article, recipients of the award in the past include 32 pigeons, three horses and a cat.

Dog Brings Home A Snake

2010-02-21T12:50:00.000-08:00

From Australia comes news of a dog who brought home a snake.

Here is a quote from the news article,

"The champion obedience dog stunned his Victorian owners when he recently returned to them to proudly show off his latest find.

Locked firmly in his jaws and coiled around his snout was a long, live snake, believed to be a deadly copperhead.

"He's normally an excellent duck dog but he'll pick up absolutely anything and return it to us, hanging on to it until we say 'give'," Deborah Allen said."

The article is here.

Another Win for UGA

2010-02-13T18:52:00.000-08:00

Another News Headline for UGA to Like

In Florida there was another pro dog story.

A fire that the owners think may have started when a cat knocked over a candle led to a dog barking that alerted the owners to the fire.

Dog saves family from fire that cat started

The article is from a TV station (an NBC affiliate) which took the image of the dog that appears at the top.
alerted the owners to a fire.

Gate Uses His Influence

2010-02-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

Gate Uses His Influence at the US Dept of Interior

Gate once worked at the Fish and Wildlife Service. Lately he has been using his contacts there and his influence at the Office of Legal Counsel to get the Dept of Interior's policy changed.

"... Interior Secretary Ken Salazar recently announced plans to ban the import or interstate transport of nine snakes that are not native to the United States: Burmese and three other types of pythons, boa constrictors and four different kinds of anaconda...."

This quote is from an editorial in the NYTimes endorsing the new policy (which Gate had something to do with also).

2010-01-20T07:01:00.001-08:00

A Snack for an Alligator

The recent cold weather in Florida has had a number of effects on exotic fauna. Pythons and iguanas (such as the one on the left) have been dropping from trees paralyzed by the cold and numerous tropical fish have died. As stated by a spokewoman for Everglades National Park,

“A lot of these invasive exotics come from southern climates, and they won’t be able to withstand a cold spell for this long,” said Linda Friar, a spokeswoman for Everglades National Park. “And as they die off, the native species, the alligators and birds, are happily consuming them.”

I'm presuming the alligators first warmed up before the consumption.

The invasive exotics are discussed in the NYTimes article before the quote,

"....Then there are the cold-blooded invasive visitors from warmer climes — iguanas and pythons. Both started out as pets before reproducing into the thousands once set free by reckless owners and hurricanes. Now, scientists hope, many will have been killed off by the cold...."

The quote from the spokeswoman is from here.

2010-01-03T11:42:00.000-08:00

"How do you not fall into the 'all God's Creatures' category?"

The other day we were doing the grace after meals and came to the part in the first benediction about how God provides food for all his creatures.

When Alligator or UGA is doing grace after meal with us they get very excited at this point and jump up and down. But that day we had the stuffed pumpkin farmer. It seemed to me that he didn't fit into this category because he is a composite of two things that do exist, pumpkins and farmers but the composite doesn't actually exist (except for the stuffed animal).

Mr. Pump is Getting Excited

2009-10-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

Only two weeks until Halloween now. I have purchased enough candy for the visiting children (I did this in September during an OCD episode).

Our biggest change from last year is putting the electric light inside the pumpkin on a timer. I use the timer that was in the sukkah, having just taken down the sukkah.

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Gators Gets Some Press in Mark Trail

2009-09-23T10:28:00.001-07:00

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Well, as it happens, I Usually Detest Mark Trail's comic. The artwork is primitive and the 'plots' are sophomoric.

It also is so pro-environmental as to make me vomit sometimes.

But, of course, if the comic is about alligators, well that's another story.

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Gate Reads About His 'Client'

2009-08-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

Apparently Alligator's work preparing briefings for Judge Sotomayor was done well because on Aug 6, the full Senate confirmed her nomination to the Supreme Court.

Alligator gets most of his information from the on-line world but decided it was important to see how the Washington Post would cover this event.

He may have been secretly hoping they would mention his name in the story.

Coke Pauses for A Family Event

2009-07-19T12:18:00.000-07:00

Although Coke Bear actually prefers his job with the Coca Cola Company to spending time with his family, he nevertheless likes to occasionally appear with them. It's good for his image.

Here he is with Ms. Coke Bear and their two babies.

What Coke Bear may not realize is that there is no genetically plausible way his son (the one between the two adults) is actually his.

So apparently Ms. Coke Bear has perhaps been enjoying some 'me' time also.

Hissy Looks For a Case

2009-07-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

After the discussion between Alligator and Hissy and Alligator's decision to continue, for the time being, working in the Office of Legal Council, Hissy was a little unhappy.

So he decided to do some research.

Here his is looking for assssbesssstosss in the cat's water dish.

Gate Confers With Hissy

2009-07-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

Alligator was so bummed out by the experience with Joe Biden's office that he is exploring other career options.

Here he is with Hissy, who is a lawyer representing people suing asbestos companies (or as Hissy says it, assssbessssstosssss).

However, Gate ultimately decided to stick it out a bit longer at the Office of Legal Counsel.

Gate Needs Some Wine

2009-06-17T11:19:00.000-07:00

Alligator was assigned to give a briefing to the VPOTUS. He prepared his .ppt and made sure to get in all the talking points his boss had said to use.

The briefing would cover all the work the OLC had done to prepare for the congressional hearings Judge Sotomayer was going to have.

The VP, Joe Biden was to come to the OLC at 100pm. However, he didn't show up. Alligator waited and waited and waited.

It was 400 pm and Biden hadn't come. Then Gate got a call from his office.

"Did you use the talking points?", Gate's boss asked.

"Well no..." Gate started, intending to say why.

"Then you are in big trouble." said Gate's boss who hung up.

Gate called the office of the VPOTUS and they said that Biden should be there soon.

Gate stayed at the office until 900pm. Then he called the office of the VPOTUS again and this time they told him that Mr. Biden was out of town all day and couldn't make the briefing. They were 'sorry' for the inconvenience.

Gate Does Research

2009-06-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Gate's first big job in the Office of Legal Counsel was making sure they thoroughly researched all the speeches of Judge Sonia Sotomayor.

This was necessary because subsequent to her nomination in May, people were a bit upset at some of the things she said.

So his job was to:

1. Come up with excuses or plausible misunderstandings for every possibly offensive thing she had ever said, and

2. Make sure there weren't more speeches out there needed similar servicing.

It was a messy job.

UGA thinks about it

2009-06-08T10:49:00.000-07:00

Grad asked UGA if he (UGA) would provide some security while he (Grad) begins to work out a 'deal' with the hedge fund.

UGA said that he was quite capable for providing security for this.

Grad was still a bit hesitant but the hedge fund offer was pretty good.

.
.

Grad Confers with Coke

2009-06-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

Graduation Bear decided another conference with Coke Bear was needed. The earlier conference resulted in Grad getting a job with a Hedge Fund but the work was difficult and degrading.

Coke discussed the work he does consulting for a big corporation. The nice thing about this is that once you know dirt about the corporation, they will pay you to consult with them as long as you don't dish the dirt out to the world.

Grad was very interested.

Gate Camouflage Leads to a Change

2009-05-10T10:49:00.000-07:00

Alligator sometimes likes to camouflage himself on the dining room table. This works best when we have a green table cloth (although the picture makes Gate's hide grey).

Anyway, Gate was being inconspicuous and decided to make a change and move to the Office of Legal Counsel, a unit within the Department of Justice that, among other things, acts as a legal service for the President.

2009-04-26T14:21:00.000-07:00

Another Headline that UGA Likes

Today there was an article in Israeli National News, the following headline and story was made.

Terrorist Captured by Dog

In another headline:

Dog alerts HV couple to pre-dawn blaze when flue fire combusts outer wall wood

Diane Knapik, Guest Writer news@andersonvalleypost.com
Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire." align="center" border="0">

DOGGONE HERO:
Don and Norma Madison of Happy Valley are thankful that their family pet, April, had the good sense to wake them to the danger of a pre-dawn house fire.

2009-03-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

Battle of the News Stories

For some time, UGA (also known as George-dog) has been reminding us of the event in Maine that produced this headline,

"Dog Saves Owner After Cat Starts Fire"

(I can't get the Bangor News article so I used the UPI version which has a different headline).

In that event, the owner was using a kerosene lantern and the cat knocked it over.

Recently there was a recent story from a Seattle newspaper with a different twist,

"

Bremerton cat saves elderly owner from smoky fire"

In this story a woman slept through her smoke/fire alarm but was awakened by the cat pawing at her face.

UGA says this story is not believable because it is impossible to sleep through a smoke alarm.

and then today, according to KansasCity.com, a dog chewed through a computer wire and almost started a fire, the headline was,

Just ask the cat: Don't let dogs out with computers

the rest of the article read,

A dog chewing a laptop computer cord started a $105,000 Olathe fire Wednesday that almost killed the family cat.

Firefighters rescued the soot-covered cat, Tater, from the burned duplex and got him back to his family.

A woman and her young son were home when the dog chewed through the cord and caused an electrical short that ignited the couch, firefighters said, and then they and the dog left the home.

Tater stayed inside until firefighters saved him. They said he seemed well-tempered for a cat covered with soot. No word on whether the dog showed any remorse.

Gate Joins the Govt.

2009-01-25T20:38:00.000-08:00

Gate Nominated for Post in US Fish and Wildlife Admin.

After his help to the transition team, Gate had been working the net when he got the call. His country needs him. You might think a ferocious predator would serve in Homeland Security (Everglades Division) but you'd be wrong. The new Administration wanted him in the Department of Interior's Fish and Wildlife Administration. Perhaps they expect some tough interdepartmental fights and it's good to have an alligator on the team.

Gate Goes Political

2008-11-14T21:48:00.000-08:00

Gate Advises Obama Team

Gate has been giving advice to the Obama transition team for a week now.

Gate is mostly concerned that 1. the future Obama administration understand the importance of habitat expansion for Alligators and 2. the Obama administration not be unduly influenced by turtles, pythons, crocodiles and other creature who share that habitat.

Uga Gets A Clue

2008-09-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

UGA Taking An On Line Course in Security

Uga (or George Dog) was thinking about going to get a 4- year degree but changed his mind when he spoke with Graduation Bear.

Uga is now learning Security Management. Its a two year on-line course.

The biggest drawback is the lack of dialogue with other students. Of course since Uga only wants to know "What's Up?", this isn't entirely bad.

Lobby Ponders

2008-08-25T20:03:00.000-07:00

Lobby Ponders His Options

Our stuffed lobster, Lobby, was once considering going to medical school. He was going to follow in the clawpath of Dr. Zoidberg, of Futurama Fame (the doctor is the first image).

Coke Bear, who seems to be doing more and more consulting for our family stuffed animals, and I pointed out to Lobby that, notwithstanding his degree, Dr. Zoidberg has the job of staff physician to a small, capital starved and poorly managed delivery company. In the animated show, Dr. Zoidberg is always hungry.

After some internet work, which was difficult given his claws don't hold a mouse very well, Lobby decided to seek work advising the various Seafood Associations.

Tough Day for Graduation Bear

2008-06-24T21:37:00.000-07:00

Graduation Bear at Work

The Hedge Fund makes Graduation Bear go though dusty old folders that were placed in laundry baskets and look for receipts that they can use to pretend they were doing business when they were actually being entertained.

This is pretty bad for Graduation Bear especially because, as a salaried employee, he doesn't get paid for overtime. The Hedge Fund bosses have demanded he work both Saturday and Sunday almost every week since he started with them.

UGA Arrives

2008-05-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

Uga (which stands for University of Georgia) was Surprised By the Letter

When Uga (a.k.a., George Dog) came to stay with us he had his mail forwarded to us also. The USPS apprised the Georgia Department of Family Services (GDFS) of the new address when the sent a communication to UGA's old address.

The Georgia Department of Family Services wrote to the Maryland Attorney General asking if the home UGA had chosen was a good home for a stuffed animal. The Maryland Attorney General then wrote to the GDFS that there was a sexual offender in the house, namely the cat, Soda. The GDFS then wrote to UGA. When UGA received the letter, his first reaction was total disbelief. Then he confronted Soda and asked him, "What's Up?"

My People will Meet with Your People

2007-08-24T15:35:00.000-07:00

Coke Bear Consults for Graduation Bear

Coke bear was just coming back from advising at a construction site when Graduation Bear asked for some consultation work.

Graduation Bear's problem is, of course, the monumental debt he piled up with the college loans and the interest and penalties.

A secondary problem was that a stuffed animal with a communication degree isn't very employable.

However, Coke Bear had contacts in the Hedge Fund industry and within a few weeks, Graduation Bear was offered a job as a "Personal Service Assistant" to the Executive Office of the Hedge Fund. The work would be tiring and somewhat unpleasant (let's just say it involved some work that could be considered illegal if it wasn't voluntary).

Coke Bear didn't have a lot of options at the time so he signed up to work for the Hedge Fund.

2007-07-24T15:26:00.000-07:00

After Supper Entertainment for Alligator

Frequently after supper or lunch on the Sabbath, George and his father play Cribbage or Klabberjast. This latter game is also called Clabber or Klabberjass. The hot links go to articles on these games.

These are card games.

Alligator likes to watch and give advice. During the cribbage game he always advises the player with the crib regarding what to contribute to the crib, "Don't throw away what you don't want; throw away what you don't need."

Alligator is also reminding people to count knobs even though it is only one point. In klabberjast, Alligator constantly advises people to get a lot of meld and also to take the last trick (a.k.a. stuch).

The picture of Alligator was not taken on the Sabbath.

2007-06-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

Coke Bear Agrees to Help

Coke Bear was at his computer terminal one day and received a variety of messages from other stuffed animals.

It seemed a lot of these animals were facing difficult situations (for example Graduation Bear's problem with college debt as noted in the post below). So he decided to become a consultant to the stuffed animal world in addition to his work for the Coca Cola Corporation.

The Problem with Graduation Bear

2007-06-23T12:57:00.000-07:00

Graduation Bear Created a Problem for Himself

Graduation Bear got his degree in Communications back in 2002. He got the degree from an exclusive northeastern private University. Because tuition was high, he borrowed the money for tuition and living expenses.

He spent the next six years going to parties and interest on the borrowed money piled up. He also got fined for delinquency because, the debt-holder said, he did not make a reasonable attempt to pay the loan back. Graduation Bear thought he would get out of this by simply declaring bankruptcy. Graduation Bear went to Alligator to discuss it. Unfortunately for Graduation Bear, according to Alligator, tuition debt is in a similar class with debt owed for child support or criminal restitution and is not terminated by bankruptcy.

Bummer!

Eventually he had to take a job that he didn't like.

Gate Joins Us After Dinner

2007-05-23T12:49:00.000-07:00

Gate Loves Doing Grace After Meals with us.

One of the things Gate likes to do is to join us for Grace After Meals. We typically do this as a family on Sabbath.

There are several things Gate likes about this.

1. There is the psalm we do at the beginning which Gate thinks is a "Song of Allegation". Most people translate the phrase "Shieir Hamalos" as Song of Elevation but Alligator is sure they are wrong.

2. He also likes the first benediction because it has a sentence which praises God for giving sustenance to all his creatures (Gate believes the words, "especially Alligators" have been incorrectly edited out.

3. He like the invocation of God's mercy because it mentions the fact that we await "Elijah the Prophet" which Gate says is a misprint since it should say "Alligator the Prophet". The word "Eliahu HaNovi" should thus be "Alligator HaNovi" according to Alligator.

4. He likes the last benediction which includes the line from a psalm saying that God gives every creature what they need.

This isn't the only thing in Judaism that Gate likes. He also like the Scroll of Ester which Gate has amended to read,

"In the days of Alligator,
The Alligator.
He ruled from Florida to Louisiana
Over 127 counties and parishes"

The picture of alligator with the prayer book was not taken on the Sabbath

Alligator Arrives

2007-05-23T12:44:00.000-07:00

Gate Arrives

Our Alligator (aka Gate) arrived from Mississippi. He began looking over George's law school related material.

He loves wild allegations (he would spell it 'alligation' and thus his favorite TV show is Nancy Grace.

Of course he also likes nature shows about alligators and also the SciFi channel's movie "SuperGator". The poster for the movie is the first image.